Apology

I need to apologise for my aggressive behaviour recently. I've been horrible, I know. But I have a good excuse. It's not just an excuse, but a whole clutch of real good reasons. I mean, when you arrive kind of jet legged, having a tight schedule and catch a cold...No this is not enough. Than you go home and the heating breaks down and there is no more hot water either, so you can't even take a shower. You just go to bed, cover yourself with 5 blankets and wait for the "white dead" to come. Than you wake up next morning, sicker than the night before. You can't take a hot shower again, so you just have to put on 5 layers of clothes and wait for the technician to ring on the door. Than you remember that last time when you were in this same city, first week after you arrived the heating in a completely different apartment in totally different area on the other side of the city broke down too, and you were living like a caveman without heating and hot water for 2 weeks. SO once you remember that, you get even more annoyed start asking yourself: "Is it some kind of dark magic or something???...What did I do to deserve this!? " (If word goes around soon I might have difficulties finding a place to stay in Paris, knowing how long does it take for the landlord to make an appointment with a technician and even longer for him to arrive, nobody will be willing taking the risk of having me in their house...)

But no it's not over yet.

Next day you are excited about the dinner party with "old" friends, so that you can finally spend time at someone's warm place, have cheese&wine, a nice conversation, forget about your sickness and enjoy life...



but the host cancels last minute due to sickness too. So you have to spend another long long night under the 5 blankets. (because the technician came, repaired the thing, but after you took a shower once it broke again)

What happens next day? After a crazy day, when you swapped your book at a casting with another model but realised it 2 castings later when you saw the client opening the book you handed to him and seeing that those weren't your pictures. What is worst- it means that you went to a casting with somebody's else book and the previous client didn't even notice that it hasn't been you on the pictures...

Anyway, It's Friday! Still coughing, but you are in Paris, everybody is going out, your friend that you didn't see for 3 months and brought a small present for from Tokyo should be there too, so of course, you want to go out.



Your friend cancels last minute. But you still go cause you were already dressed and everything and didn't want to spend another night as those described above. So you go for dinner with girls (fellow models) you basically just met but try to have a general conversation about insignificant stuff, listening to them and saying O WOW REALLY THAT'S GREAT bla bla as if you cared...drinking glasses of wine one after another, while waiting for the food which is taking forever.




Then you go to the club, leave your jacket at the wardrobe. It is really packed inside so you can't really dance. Then you decide to go home, hand your number (which btw you taught was such a cool number when you got it, 282, so even if you lost the little piece of paper, you would still remember it and can take your jacket back) to the wardrobe lady and she gives you a men's coat. WTF?!? Obvious sly ... SOMETHING WENT WRONG FOR 100th time in 3 days and WHEN SOMETHING GOES WRONG
EVERYTHING GOES WRONG!!!

Losing a jacket wouldn't be such a big deal, it happens to everyone once in a while. This wasn't even your fault. But then you remember you just lost your scarf in a club in Tokyo (which happens to has been the scarf, a present from your Parisian flatmate), and you never found it again but your Tokyo flatmate saw some Japanese girl walking on the street with a scarf like that. And same nice flatmate in Tokyo gave you one of her scarfs knowing that you are going back to Paris soon with the words: "You can have one of my scarfs. I bought this one in Paris last year. So it's perfect for you!" And unfortunately this same scarf was in the coat that the wardrobe lady gave to somebody else...SO nothing more can be done, you take a taxi, make it to your cold bed, can't even take a shower and next day you can't go out because this was the only jacket you brought from home and it is freezing outside.

So those are pretty much the things that I had to deal with. But there is something positive about having to go through bad times too, and this is that in moments like that some people you never expected might surprise you, lenting you their sweater, giving you medicine, cheering you up, bringing you to a cab, helping you to look for your jacket, while those you thought were your friends already left the club or are still dancing or...just can't be bothered with other people's problems.

BUT I think this bad luck period is OVER now. I had really good time this weekend. Really exhausting, but nice, catching up with old friends, meeting new people...

Looking forward to going back to Hamburg, yoga class, detox, sleep and NO MORE PARTY FOR AT LEAST A MONTH!