CITY THOUGHTS...

BARCELONA.Such a "friendly" (can't think of more suitable adjective) city this is. Pity I got to stay there only 2 and a half days. And still you get off the plane and you just feel so warmly welcomed.One day I will just pack my bag, go there and never leave...





Ok, let me explain. I read that somewhere recently: “Every city has a sex and an age which have nothing to do with demography. Rome is feminine. So is Odessa. London is a teenager, an urchin, and, in this, hasn't changed since the time of Dickens. Paris, I believe, is a man in his twenties in love with an older woman.”

And I just thought "Hm. Interesting" or just "Hm". My last landlord in Paris (with the cold water and broken heating) was a 50 year old lady (but looked like 35) and her boyfriend was 28...SO apparently Paris IS a boy in love with an older women. Paris is also so snobby in some parts and vulgar and dirty in others.But it is also true that an artist has no other home in Europe except Paris. Not that I have this problem..I'm just saying for those who think of themselves as such, they better go there...

London is a teenage boy or girl, c'est vrai. And for me personally London is like an overcrowded town. Not really a city. It is cool but I get slightly antropophobic there. I feel observed and get the feeling that no matter where I am about to go- there will be 15 000 other people going to the same place, and 10 000 others just coming back from there...So, huge crowds in both directions and everybody crossing the street on red light, which I think is cool.(I like TESCO EXPRESS too)

Haven't been to New York but I guess there is worse with the crowds. I mean worse in a cool way, of course. Erm I mean cool.

Even in Tokyo, with it's 12 million or so you have more space around you than in London. If you stay away of Ginza and Shibuya, it feels like you are in a Samurai village from the Middle age...or whenever there were samurai...DID THEY ACTUALLY LIVE IN VILLAGES...Ok, a geisha village then...Whatever...you got the idea...

I don't know if Hamburg is a boy or a girl, but it's gray. And it is so proud of being Hamburg, die schönste Stadt der Welt, that at some point you could actually believe it. Despite of the rain. And despite of being so boring.

My home "by birth", Sofia, is a girl of course. Poor little girl. She wants to be like a real city, beautiful and proud, but she can't. One thing she has to learn is that beauty, comes from inside, from the spirit. And if there is no spirit, no art, no ideas...than you are just empty.

Look, Italy for example. Every city is beautiful (I suppose, I've been only to a few) because of the culture that has been building upon centuries, not because of the pizza. I was said, that it is not so cool as it looks to live in Italy, but only to visit. And as much as I would like to, I couldn't live there because of the risk of obesity, or in other words- too much too good food.

Well anyway. Back to Barcelona. There I could live. It's just so "FRIENDLY".

-shopping friendly (shop till you drop, or at least until 9.30pm)
-tourist friendly (I could barely hear any Spanish or Catalan, don't even know what that sounds like. But all other languages were present. Except for Japanse, but considering the excitement they were talking about their famous cherry blossom I guess no single Japanese would leave the country between April and May. LOL)
-"food friendly"



-"beach friendly"

-"sun friendly"

-"art friendly"


-"chaos friendly"
-"being-late-friendly"
-"romantic friendly"...

And it smells nice too.(not the case with Paris and London...)
What is there more to ask from a city!?

I can think of one thing I don't like- the traffic is horrible. You don't wanna be in an ambulance in Barcelona. Chances, that you will make it to the hospital before it's too late, are bad. But, well, if you get lucky you might never need an ambulance in your life. So, the risk is worth it.

Oh, and the people are friendly too. See, here I can say "friendly" and it won't sound weird.

Back in Hamburg

After 6 months traveling around like a postcard and living out of a suitcase, overcoming cultural shock, jet-leg and Paris syndrome (turns out my condition in Paris after Tokyo has a name. It's actually a disease for those coming from Tokyo to Paris! google it!)

I am Back in Hamburg!

Well, then off to Munich for a day and then back to Hamburg again...So a lot has been happening. But once I am back here, it feels like nothing has changed- as if I have never ever been to so many places, seen so many things...seems like I've been stuck here forever! And it's kind of nice.

Nothing has changed but ME!

And if I have to summarize in a few words what I have been through in those 6 months, I'd better use somebody's wiser words:

"I have forgiven mistakes that were indeed almost unforgivable. I've tried to replace people who were irreplaceable and tried to forget those who were unforgettable. I've acted on impulse, have been disappointed by people when I thought that this could never be possible. But I have also disappointed those who I love. I have laughed at inappropriate occasions. I've made friends that are now friends for life. I've screamed and jumped for joy. I've loved and I've been loved. But I have also been rejected and I have been loved without loving the person back. I've lived for love alone and made vows of eternal love. I've had my heart broken many, many times! I've cried while listening to music and looking at old pictures. I've called someone just to hear their voice on the other side. I have fallen in love with a smile. At times, I thought I would die because I missed someone so much. At other times, I felt very afraid that I might loose someone very special (which ended up happening anyway.) But I have lived! And I still continue living everyday. I'm not just passing through life... and you shouldn't either. Live! The best thing in life is to go ahead with all your plans and your dreams, to embrace life and to live everyday with passion, to lose and still keep the faith and to win while been grateful. All of this because the world belongs to those who dare to go after what they want. And because life is really too short to be insignificant."

Charlie Chaplin

I laugh, I love, I hope, I try, I hurt, I need, I fear, I cry.

And I know you do the same things too. So we are not that different, me and you...

Apology

I need to apologise for my aggressive behaviour recently. I've been horrible, I know. But I have a good excuse. It's not just an excuse, but a whole clutch of real good reasons. I mean, when you arrive kind of jet legged, having a tight schedule and catch a cold...No this is not enough. Than you go home and the heating breaks down and there is no more hot water either, so you can't even take a shower. You just go to bed, cover yourself with 5 blankets and wait for the "white dead" to come. Than you wake up next morning, sicker than the night before. You can't take a hot shower again, so you just have to put on 5 layers of clothes and wait for the technician to ring on the door. Than you remember that last time when you were in this same city, first week after you arrived the heating in a completely different apartment in totally different area on the other side of the city broke down too, and you were living like a caveman without heating and hot water for 2 weeks. SO once you remember that, you get even more annoyed start asking yourself: "Is it some kind of dark magic or something???...What did I do to deserve this!? " (If word goes around soon I might have difficulties finding a place to stay in Paris, knowing how long does it take for the landlord to make an appointment with a technician and even longer for him to arrive, nobody will be willing taking the risk of having me in their house...)

But no it's not over yet.

Next day you are excited about the dinner party with "old" friends, so that you can finally spend time at someone's warm place, have cheese&wine, a nice conversation, forget about your sickness and enjoy life...



but the host cancels last minute due to sickness too. So you have to spend another long long night under the 5 blankets. (because the technician came, repaired the thing, but after you took a shower once it broke again)

What happens next day? After a crazy day, when you swapped your book at a casting with another model but realised it 2 castings later when you saw the client opening the book you handed to him and seeing that those weren't your pictures. What is worst- it means that you went to a casting with somebody's else book and the previous client didn't even notice that it hasn't been you on the pictures...

Anyway, It's Friday! Still coughing, but you are in Paris, everybody is going out, your friend that you didn't see for 3 months and brought a small present for from Tokyo should be there too, so of course, you want to go out.



Your friend cancels last minute. But you still go cause you were already dressed and everything and didn't want to spend another night as those described above. So you go for dinner with girls (fellow models) you basically just met but try to have a general conversation about insignificant stuff, listening to them and saying O WOW REALLY THAT'S GREAT bla bla as if you cared...drinking glasses of wine one after another, while waiting for the food which is taking forever.




Then you go to the club, leave your jacket at the wardrobe. It is really packed inside so you can't really dance. Then you decide to go home, hand your number (which btw you taught was such a cool number when you got it, 282, so even if you lost the little piece of paper, you would still remember it and can take your jacket back) to the wardrobe lady and she gives you a men's coat. WTF?!? Obvious sly ... SOMETHING WENT WRONG FOR 100th time in 3 days and WHEN SOMETHING GOES WRONG
EVERYTHING GOES WRONG!!!

Losing a jacket wouldn't be such a big deal, it happens to everyone once in a while. This wasn't even your fault. But then you remember you just lost your scarf in a club in Tokyo (which happens to has been the scarf, a present from your Parisian flatmate), and you never found it again but your Tokyo flatmate saw some Japanese girl walking on the street with a scarf like that. And same nice flatmate in Tokyo gave you one of her scarfs knowing that you are going back to Paris soon with the words: "You can have one of my scarfs. I bought this one in Paris last year. So it's perfect for you!" And unfortunately this same scarf was in the coat that the wardrobe lady gave to somebody else...SO nothing more can be done, you take a taxi, make it to your cold bed, can't even take a shower and next day you can't go out because this was the only jacket you brought from home and it is freezing outside.

So those are pretty much the things that I had to deal with. But there is something positive about having to go through bad times too, and this is that in moments like that some people you never expected might surprise you, lenting you their sweater, giving you medicine, cheering you up, bringing you to a cab, helping you to look for your jacket, while those you thought were your friends already left the club or are still dancing or...just can't be bothered with other people's problems.

BUT I think this bad luck period is OVER now. I had really good time this weekend. Really exhausting, but nice, catching up with old friends, meeting new people...

Looking forward to going back to Hamburg, yoga class, detox, sleep and NO MORE PARTY FOR AT LEAST A MONTH!

...

There are a lot of things I could say right now, to all of you who came to me and said:

HOW ARE YOU, MY FAVOURITE PHILOSOPHER?

or

WELCOME TO PARIS, TOKYO PRINCESS AKA GEEK BLOGGER !

or

SO YOU ARE BACK FROM TOKYO, I WAS READING YOUR BLOG ALL THE TIME...

or

It's all so true!

or

It' so funny!

or

YOUR BLOG INSPIRED ME TO WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT... (this one makes me really proud)

or (my favourite)

GIRLS LIKE YOU, WHEN THEY WRITE, CAN DESTROY THE WORLD!

I am far from the idea of destroying (but I take it as an ego-booster compliment:)). All I do is sharing things I see around me that make me happy, or make me laugh, things that change\destroy\annoy\surprise\thrill or bother me. Sometimes words is all there is. Sometimes words are not enough. Sometimes there is no need of words...

I am surprised and happy by the fact that somebody else than myself and memeped are reading this, but there is ONLY ONE THING THAT MATTERS RIGHT NOW (not connected to my blog but to people in my life), and it is:

There comes a point in life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future...

And why they never will...

I've said that before, but I want to say it again and make sure that know I really know it...

So for this last category of people I can only say you will never ever hear from me again. I know who I am and I know what I do. And I know I don't need people like you. I'm not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me.So I am officially "breaking up" with people who don't respect me for the person I am.

..."And it's gonna take so long for me to get to somewhere. But that's a lonely road to travel and a heavy load to bear and it's a long, long way to heaven but I gotta get there."