bulgarianprincess: May 2011

I just had such an exciting, fun, tiring, intense, different, relaxing, chilled and above all LAST weekend in Lisbon!

Costa da Caparica

LAST?!

Costa da Caparica

Well, unless until next time...

Costa da Caparica

See, I used to love overusing and stressing on strong words...such as

LAST

or FOREVER

or NEVER AGAIN

or NEVER EVER EVER

or always...

25 de Abril Bridge
Those are, I'd even say, "heavy" words. And as much as words can change our attitude to some issue or some person in our life, I've recently come to the realization that there is no
NEVER or FOREVER.

This is irrelevant to Lisbon, or my last weekend here, but this is something I've been thinking recently, as a part of my personal growth :p (provided we assume such thing is in progress at all)

Saying FOREVER or NEVER to someone or something, such as:

I'll NEVER ever eat chocolate again
or
I don't wanna see you EVER again in my life"

...are statements as meaningless as:
I will always love chocolate
and
We will be together forever

Belém
I've just realized recently
(maybe other people learn it on earlier stage in their life)
that FOREVER and NEVER
are unrealistic concepts and therefore exist only as words...
but are practically impossible.

Belém
What is important and relevant is
HERE and NOW
This is the only thing we can experience, act upon, influence
and
actually CHANGE .

Sunset at Torre de Belém
I know, reading that many would probably think:
This girl has obviously exposed her head for too long in the sun today
(I did indeed, I am getting naturally blonder :p)
and didn't have enough sleep
(true that, not more than 4,5hrs)
and is still hung over anyway
(hmmm maybe..or just tired)

Rossio Train Station
But HERE and NOW is the only thing that matters!
You might even say that "here and now" are two things, but actually it is only one!

In fact, I've been puzzling over these complicated thoughts, concepts and philosophical ideas since I saw my flatmates tattoo.
Normally, I am not a tattoo fan.
I've ALWAYS tried to advise everybody who ever wanted to make a tattoo against it.
It stays FOREVER, you know.
Nobody EVER listened to me and everybody did what they already had in mind anyway.
So, here you go:
another example how dysfunctional FOREVER and ALWAYS can be in real life.
They are just so irrelevant.

BUT when I saw her tattoo suddenly it all changed!

TUDO PASSARA

It will all pass...
Nothing is FOREVER!
Which reminds me of the ancient Greek Πάντα ῥεῖ (panta rhei)...Everything flows.
Everything comes and goes:
Good and bad times, happiness and grieve, love and loneliness, wealth and misery...happiness and pain!
Everything GOES AWAY, everything WILL PASS!

So why wasting time thinking and worrying what yesterday was and what tomorrow is gonna be like,
where and with,
who under what meteorological conditions...

Seeing this tattoo a month ago, when I first came to Lisbon not only inspired all those thoughts about FOREVER and NEVER and ALWAYS.
It also inspired me in getting a tattoo myself, which I haven't done yet since I am looking for the right thing to ink, the right phrase, sign or picture, the right language, the right body part and...who knows maybe until I find it all, this DESIRE will pass too.

Fatboy Slim @ Estádio do Restelo

All that is just to say that, even though going through some tough times and personal shit in the last half year (as probably every normal person does at some point...) this last weekend reminded me again:

I love what I do, I love where I am, I love having the chance or privilege to be surrounded by the people I get to meet and spend my time with. I am happy and grateful for my life as it is HERE and NOW!

Fatboy Slim @ Estádio do Restelo
I have also realized that feeling HAPPY or UNHAPPY is one's own responsibility.
It is not other people, places or events that make us unhappy.
It is US allowing them to do it. We allow those thoughts to come into our mind and destroy everything we have believed in, we let our own thoughts poison our own life...

For a long time I have been so paranoid about MISTAKES.
I was always second guessing and evaluating everything, trying to figure out:
Is it gonna be a mistake?
Or I already knew:
This is a mistake
which didn't stop me of doing it anyway...

But now I am just thinking:
You know what, damn it, doing a mistake is sometimes better than doing nothing!
It will all pass anyway..