The TRUTH is that Life...

"Truth like light blinds. Falsehood, on the contrary, is a beautiful twilight that enhances every object!" Albert Camus

..is so weird...

Ok, i will explain, I am not trying to get philosophical. I am just sad. I was just taking a look at Daul's blog. Yes, she was blogging, probably one of the most visited blogs since Thursday night, I suppose...

And life is weird because I was reading her blog and thinking- I arrived in Paris exactly 2 months and 5 days ago...and first thing I ask a local Parisian is:
"WHAT IS THE MOST POPULAR PLACE FOR SUICIDERS IN PARIS?".
.. Don't ask me why and how I come up with that question! But please don't blame me either, I know, I suffer from pathological black sense of humor...but right now it's not funny...I feel bad I've ever said that!

But life is weird, not because of this alone.
Life got even way weirder. JUST NOW
Because at this very moment while I am writing about

"WHY THE HELL DO I ARRIVE IN PARIS AND ASK THAT RANDOM GUY THIS STUPID QUESTION"

this very same guy I asked this very same question 2 months ago JUST CALLED ME NOW... like 2mins ago. I was shoked, it's not like we talk every day, not even every weekend...I mean confused and surprised...Why him why now?!?!

Here how our conversation went:

GUY:Hey!
Me:Hey, wow, I was just thinking...Remember how I asked you which is the most famous place for suiciders in Paris???
(Noise, saturday night somewhere in the streets of Paris)
GUY:...Mrrhhh WHAT?
ME: Ugh, nothing! How are you?
GUY: Good, what you up to tonight...
...
ME:No, sorry I don't feel like going out
GUY:Ugh you are so boring....

I am trying to say that another young girl took her life. For unknown reason. I didn't check any gossips on the media. But who cares how..and where and when... We will never know HER TRUTH ANYWAY. She is gone. There is a reason behind everything. Even if we don't get it. Even when we judge.

But wait, I am not finished yet. Weirdest from all is- I met this girl on a show we did together. And among all girls she was one of the few that caught my attention. The designer and the casting director kept calling her DOLL...and I thought "WOW, NICE NAME, DOLL!" And she kept correcting them: "No, it's Daul."

So life is full of coincidenses. Random things catch our attention as if they were set up like that to teach us a lesson. And mine was: Don't ever joke about suicide...Don't ever joke about life! It is the most precious gift we have! And it is our duty to keep it "with our life"! :P

If you can dream and not make dreams your master,
If you can think and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster,
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truths you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
And see the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools.
If you can make one heap of all your winnings,
And risk it on one turn of pitch & toss,
And lose, and start at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss...

-KIPLING-

And to wrap up all this chaotic thoughts of mine...about truth and life and coincidences and reasons behind everything...i guess it all pretty much got the " lost -in -translation -effect" of a long movie that doesn't say anything at the end...BUT in my personal opinion:

LIFE IS WORTH LIVING.Fullstop.

RIP DAUL KIM

I LOVE MY JOB

The day i realize I can't be a model anymore will be the "unhapppiest day in my life".(*ironic*) There is no other job as exciting as this, I am telling you. It is not just because the new issue of my favorite online fashion magazine has reminded me of the story I have written for it this summer, but also because I have had a series of... let's call them "interesting" shootings lately.

The peak was yesterday, which inspires me to write the next story and send it to the founder and editor of TEASER Thomas Meyer, who is making this magazine with a lot of love and passion for fashion, revealing the business behind the scene. Enough promotion, here is the link: http://teaser-mag.com Don't get disappointed you will not see a picture of me, I am a writer :)

Well, in short, yesterday we were shooting outside by 9 degrees celsius. Two people from the team were russian, 3 french et moi. I don't want to stereotype anything by nationalities here, it's just that the first mentioned had a bottle of vodka and some other stuff called calvados which they thought was a good way to keep us/them warm and prevent from catching colds. I don't mind as long as they can do their job, which they could. BUT our make-up artist couldn't keep up with their drinking. Half way through the shoot he got so wasted, that he was completely unable to retouch my lipstick, let alone drive to the next location. Nobody was upset about this fact, I mean, the guy got drunk, no big deal, we'll keep going and having fun. So he spent rest of the day sleeping in the car. The male model was going crazy too, exploring the forest, so that at some point he didn't take care of the designer clothes he had on and they all got muddy spots. If i have to be honest, I broke the heels of two pairs Victor&Rolf shoes too, but that's nothing to do with alcohol abuse as I was the only sober person freezing out there. I am just trying to warn you: Don't buy Victor& Rolf shoes, not worth, heels break really easyly! The darker it got, the more drunk everybody got, the colder I felt, the slower things went. Surprisingly, from what I saw the pictures turned quite good actually.

Now, everybody wonders what is the secret of becoming a top model. SO I think I'm getting closer to that answer since the photographer told me she's gonna make me a top model. There you go! Than she said I shouldn't mention in my agency about the drinking at the shoot. So, in case I become a top model in the next few months, you will know I have kept my mouth shut. It must be exciting if you' hear that when you're 16...but seriously, who is she trying to sell this.? Do I look like I believe in Santa? Well at least it's easier to hear that from a female photographer. Than you can kind of live with it, while if it was a guy you would be getting paranoid that there is something else too.

OK, I don't want to be so mean. It was a fun shoot and they were really really nice people. Besides it wasn't a huge production and it was sunday, so why not make the best out of it. The point is that...what was the point again? I think it's that i had a fun weekend, I met nice people, I didn't catch a cold AND there is a chance I become a top model in near future, wait and see!!! LOL